Most people dream of life on a beautiful Island, with people waiting on them and every need met. Also, when asked if they had three wish’s, most people ask for money or women or something they think will better their lives. Junky’s think completely different.
A junky only has one thing one their mind. Ask me what my heart desires and even if I am straight, I will say heroin. I could care less where I am or what I am doing. My second answer, is to have thick flowing veins, so I can make sure to be able to do all my Heroin.
I have quit a million times and am currently sober, but give me free heroin and that status will quickly change. Every time I have quit, it was because of money, too high a habit or bad product. Even collapsed blown out veins and an arm that is totally ruined didn’t give me the incentive to stop. This may be shocking to hear, and if you ask most junky’s, they will deny that they want to keep using.
Honestly though, a junky’s life is a life of deception. It’s not because we want to lie, it’s because heroin has such a bad stigma attached to it, that we are forced to lie. I see it all the time, every junky, even me, is so programed to “act” like they want to quit, that is all they talk about. If you actually pay attention to an addict though, they talk so much about quitting, they actually believe it, but believing it and doing it are completely different. Junkies say over and over, I’m quitting, but they continue to get high day in and day out.
Most of the times I quit, it was just so I could bring my habit down. I have actually been in rehab, telling the counselors “I don’t plan on quitting, I just want to be able to afford getting high.”
The funny thing is, the counselors are so programed to get people through rehab, that they are just glad that you are there. They figure, if you are there long enough, they can reprogram you and you’ll never do drugs again. I’ve actually seen this work, and believe me, if it is what you truly want, then I am completely supportive. People definitely get out of hand with drugs, and they will destroy their lives, mine included.
The thing most people and counselors don’t realize, or don’t seem to understand, is that heroin isn’t a drug, it is a life. Once you have been down that road, the road back is long and very painful. Relapsing is just part of the addiction. If you have had a habit and gotten clean, without relapse, consider yourself one of the lucky ones. I have never experience it, but it might exist.
Every time I write one of these blogs, I feel I need to stress the fact that I am the biggest hypocrite you’ll will ever meet. I’ve had people ask me to get them high and I absolutely refuse!!! There is no way I am putting their soul on my shoulders!!! If you have never done dope and are thinking about it, don’t!!! It will be the biggest mistake you ever make.
Well, once again, I have completely gotten off topic. My main point is, every time I watch a show or movie about wish’s I think, I would wish for unlimited dope and nice veins. I know I should think, I wish for this habit to be gone, but that thought wouldn’t even come into play and if it did, I would dismiss it quickly. I know it seems right to most rational people, but a junky is not rational.
Basically, I want to be rich and famous, just like everyone else. Unfortunately, I want to be rich so I can afford more dope, not so I can have a nice life. Most junky’s will tell you “If I was rich, I would leave this life and be happy,” but that is a lie. The worst part is, it is a lie even the junky believes.
If I had a million dollars today, I would be buying heroin as soon as the check cleared. Hell with my junky mind, I could probably get it before the check cleared!!!